This page holds the music I’ve been experimenting with. I don’t think it can be rushed and has to be done with the right heart. The released tracks are distributed by CD Baby to all digital platforms if you are interested. Maybe one day I will create something that resonates in the way I’d like it to. In the meantime, I will continue to try to make that ideal piece of work until I can’t do it any more.
‘Heroes’ is my all-time favourite of Bowie songs. Happily, it has been given a thumbs up by a trusted friend who described it as a Lodger remix. It starts off with adverts to pay royalties to Bowie and Eno but unfortunately, I don’t qualify for YouTube revenue. However, its an ambition fulfilled and that counts for a lot.
Don’t Let Go
Sometimes you might make a sequence of moves that are the only ones possible at the time. Each one leads you deeper into an unfavourable situation and each step is the only one you can make. It’s the sort of thing you might do with regret and resignation and a little bit of hope for a better future at the same time. You know that there is a risk to your well-being and this is the time you need to pull in your reserves of strength, have a goal to pull you through and a strategy to deal with adversity.
All the Fish in the Sea
Being with people can be tiring. It’s peculiar because not being with people doesn’t feel right either. Sometimes I wonder if I would have been better off living in Japan. I seem to have values that are more aligned with their way of thinking. But I’m not in Japan, and I’m what I’ve heard referred to as a homebody so I’m not going anywhere soon. My imagination, on the other hand, knows no boundaries. I have the freedom and imagination to do anything or be anywhere whenever I want. Being under the sea in a brightly lit bay is a peaceful place to be. The crowds of noisy litter-dropping humans are trapped on the land far away.
Love is only applauded when it is reciprocated. Other than that, it’s given other names such as infatuation or a crush etc. What’s the difference. If it comes down to how realistic the attraction is, then you can write off the first 4 years of any partnership and certainly the honeymoon period. We are all born alone and will die alone. How you think you get on with other people is a fabrication of your mind – an average of a sequence of mini-proofs that needs to be refreshed over time. If someone loved you once but doesn’t now because they have someone new, it suggests that the integrity of that is based on the immediate value of the relationship to that person right at that moment. In this case, the value is being monitored continually. This isn’t the kind of romantic love portrayed in films where there is on one true love that exists irrespective of whether you have met yet.
This is How it Ends
I once had a job that died a long, slow and painful death over two tortuous years. By the time I left, I was thoroughly beaten and miserable. The perpetrators of this abysmal situation were too dim-witted and rough to understand what they were and what they had done, but I have no sympathy for them. I didn’t fit in, but in a way, I’m glad I didn’t because that would have been disappointing in itself. I always think that credit should be given where credit is due and these people don’t deserve any.
Of course, this type of experience is more succinctly summed up by a more traditionally vehicle of failing relationship as described in this song. It’s one thing that you can bet that almost everyone will have had experience of. There is a sense of desolation and loss when you fail at something, and although this is a necessary step in improving your life you still have to go through the difficult part of closing down the situation you are currently in.
I’m thinking of taking this album out of distribution – the ideas are good but the delivery is questionable and patchy. I don’t want the older tracks to be heard before the newer work, especially Heroes – I have learned a lot about the technical side of producing music in the process of making it. Maybe I’ll recreate one or two of the tracks from Present Tense in the future. Prayer is still a favourite although it has received very little attention publicly. To be honest, none of these has been given much attention generally, because let’s face it, there are plenty of better singer/songwriters out there and the battle to be heard is both immense and demoralising. But none of them is me and I’m the only one who can do this for myself. So at the risk of looking really stupid, here they are. For some reason, Killer Curves has been my most played song to date, and all the plays were in India and Pakistan according to the SoundCloud platform. Maybe they liked the last line… I have no idea.
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…original and refreshing ideas, in a world of cliché and soundalikes.